etiquette 101

I will post something happy this weekend I promise. Candy, chocolate and little people dressed up. Cant wait. It will be good to have that and if I come to your house to let you see my kiddos just remember we like candy too :)

I made it through all of today without crying until about 20 minutes ago. I started thinking about little Dekan in that Halloween costume as a cow and that was the first time that momma got to hold him by herself. He was eight months old.

Maybe this is what I should expect. Firsts of everything will be hard I am sure. Her birthday is coming up, Thanksgiving, Christmas, first Mother's Day. I never dreamed that the first time I went out to eat would be hard and it was. I swear I could go to a restaurant before and never see a single person that I knew. I went to eat out the other day and every five minutes was seeing someone that wanted to say how sorry they were. Poor dad went to get the kids shots with me today and hadnt been there five minutes and one of the nurses knew him and felt it necessary to come out from behind the desk to hug him. Sometimes it feels like when people call now that are just finding out, I am consoling them instead of vice versa. Instance, I had a lady call yesterday very upset when she told me that she had just found out. I dont even know who she is to be honest. I felt bad for her though. ? I know that sounds funny. I think there should be an unwritten time limit on how long you have after someone passes away to call and do something like that. Makes it hard on the people that are trying to continue to live. People should understand how hard it is to begin with. I have had people just casually ask how are things going and stuff like that and that is one thing, but to be weird about it in the process it makes me uncomfortable and sends me back down to wanting to sit down and do nothing. I am still receiving sympathy cards as well. There should be a two week limit on that as well. Honest to goodness got one from somebody in Nashville through the funeral home the other day with pamphlets on how to become a Christian and people wonder why people run the other direction?

At some points I know that things are getting easier. My headache that I have had for the last almost three weeks is dying down so I am thankful for that. I still have the empty feeling that I have had and I have a feeling that will not ever fully heal. I am okay though. Dad still forgets and says we love you at the end of every phone conversation...somethings may never change and somethings may take a while too. I feel that dad and Daron are doing ok as well. I know that are "good" friends will be thinking of us in the days ahead and be there when we need them to be. I am thankful for that as well.

Here is another story that happened in September just to include her in on our Halloween this year:

Mom and dad bought a mixed Tootsie Roll bag last year as part of the Halloween candy. I am pretty sure they had bought some other stuff as well, but by the time we made it to there house cause we always went there last all that was left was the Tootsie roll stuff. Tootsie rolls arent bad, but are definitely not my favorite by any means. One of the last times we were at mom and dads I was joking with mom and told her that if she had Tootsie Roll candy this year we werent coming to her house. She laughed. Dad said today that he had bought something else as candy this year! Ha! Maybe I should have asked for money to be the sacks. :) Dont push it I know.

Tomorrow night we are getting together for pumpkin carving, baking cookies and food. Dad is going trick or treating with us Saturday night so this year all of the good candy goes to us anyhow.

Mom and dad had the kids Halloween costumes at their house for awhile. I had them in the car one day and had asked dad to hold them for a bit so that way I could cram more stuff in there when I went to town for them without the costumes being messed up. She never knew she had them hanging in her laundry room, we wanted to surprise her. She would have loved them though.